The sun is shining and my mind is rambling

It has been months since I last blogged.  I apologize for the long silence here. My time has been divided on so many, too many projects.  It’s a treat to just relax and be alone with my thoughts and know that someone out there will be reading them.

So much has happened in the world in the last few months.  Natural disasters,  revolutions, and resolutions.  Osama Bin Laden is gone, Japan is trying to find their way again, people are fighting for their rights and many are dealing with losses of huge magnitudes.  There is a shift taking place below the earth and on the surface.

The sun has come out today after a cold, wet rainy day.  What can be wrong?  Grateful for all in my life.

It’s over a year since Chelsea passed away, my sister-in-law passed away after a long fight against cancer and way too many friends died recently.

Life is precious. Every moment of it. I’m blessed to have wonderful friends and family. Remember, when it all comes down to it, it’s the people in your life that play an important part in your happiness.  And of course, having fulfilling work, counts, too.

I was talking to a girlfriend of mine who is absolutely beautiful and thin, model thin. Although, she thinks she is not and will suddenly make fuss over her weight feeling like she is heavy and all I’m thinking is she can use a few extra pounds.  I never knew she had an eating issue. I won’t call it a disorder since that has a negative connotation.  She was there for me when I had foot surgery. Helping in every way.  For those, that don’t know, last year I had elective foot surgery, and night before I went in Chelsea (my beloved Shih Tzu who was as therapy dog and I made a film with that was on HBO) suddenly couldn’t breath.  Long story, short, within 30 hours she got sick, I had surgery and I put her to sleep.  It was intense. Anyway, my friend was by my side helping me through this. I noticed when she was hanging out with me after the surgery that she was constantly eating whatever she could find in my house: ice cream, crackers, candy.  When she left my bed was covered with crumbs and all the food that was put out was gone.  I guess she was really hungry.   The next day I mentioned it to her and she said it was hormonal and every month she would go on a binge.   Cut to a year later she revealed it was not a monthly hunger feast.   She lived her life on a diet only eating raw, healthy food and when she would stray and have a piece of cake, she felt like a failure so she would go further and eat several pieces of cake until she felt sick. The next day she would fast and that is how she kept her weight down.

She couldn’t keep any cake in the house or any sweets because she would finish it all.  I know this condition because I, too, many years ago, went from never having an appetite to becoming a secret eater and obsessing over food. I might have weighed 10 pounds more than now. The problem was I was in mental bondage over food.  It took a car accident with my head going through the windshield to wake up and change my ways, essentially change how I thought about food and myself.  I no longer went on diets. I gave myself permission to eat what I wanted to and when I wanted to.  And from that point on, I started losing weight and getting out of the mental jail I put myself in.   I’m lucky I know to have done this on my own and quite a long time ago.

I’m mentioning this because I understand food disorders, okay, I used that word here. When I was talking to my girlfriend she kept using the word healthy. She kept saying that what’s important to her is to eat healthy. And she prides herself on being on a healthy diet.  When she didn’t eat her healthy diet (diet is a word I think that we shouldn’t use because that already connotates expectations to be met daily with your food intake) she would punish herself and binge.

What’s important here is to live a long life and to be happy.  And I recommend a “happy diet.”  Malcolm Gladwell talk about a population that had a long life span. They were an immigrant community.  When he researched their lifestyle, he found they ate everything, they drank, they smoked. So how could they live so long? They were happy.  They lived in a community and were surrounded by people they loved and loved them.  Joy, happiness is the key.

We have all heard stories about people who suddenly died who had a great healthy life.  Is it the stress that killed them? Perhaps. Or was there number up?

All I can say is, we need to be kind to ourselves. Treat yourself like a prince, a princess.  Go on the “happy diet” and eat what you want, when you want it. As soon as you deprive yourself, that leads to bingeing.

You will be hearing from me often. I promise. Please communicate back.

Have a great day!
Gayle

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