My Staff – though some are heading into inactive duty!
Kirschenbaum Productions is a democratic nation of fierce production, a society that runs on hard work and strong minds. But to keep things running, we need a good leader, and a good leader needs a great cabinet.
- The President
Commander-in Chief and Executive Head of Government, Gayle reigns from her white-walled waterfront loft. Utilizing her exceptional leadership abilities, brilliant motivational speeches, and striking good looks (that is the nose her momma gave her!), Gayle leads the “Gayle troops,” an unstoppable creative force marching through the streets of the West Village armed with equipment – handy cams and sometimes microphones, spreading her healing message on forgiving critical parents (Watch out Bin Laden – Gayle knows what you’re really angry about).
- Chief of Staff (always active)
Chief operating officer of the office and highest-ranking legislative staffer, with years of animated work… in animation, Grettel is the creator, the coordinator, and the primary aide to an important individual, President Gayle herself. Grettel is charged with personal duties such as advising and overseeing the President’s day-to-day tasks, making sure the brains run on time, taking Chelsea for a walk, and double-locking the door on the way out.
- Secretary of State (inactive)
Concerned with foreign affairs, Sheila focuses on building and strengthening Gayle’s relationships throughout the World… Wide Web. Though she lives overseas in a far-away land called Poughkeepsie, she flies in daily to advise Gayle in foreign policy, maintain the performance of MacBook Pros, draft and direct podcasts, negotiate with feeds, blogging sites, and participate in top secret military activities.
- Secretary of Transportation (inactive)
Cara is always there to get our President where she needs to go and find the right subway line to get her there. A certified google-map pro and professional hop-stopper — interstate, inter-web, or overseas — Cara transports Gayle, her films, and her message: “peace, love, and forgive thy mother” to distributors, big city streets, backcountry roads, space, time, and beyond.
- Press Secretary (actor)
Tim is the voice of Kirschenbaum Productions. With a gift for words, and as someone who certainly knows how to make a speech, Tim provides advice on and communicates with the media, and is tireless in his search for stronger and more efficient outlets, whether by way of the theater or the synagogue, as long as its entertainment, Tim can get the part.
- Secretary of Energy (hyperactive)
When Gayle realized she needed a cheap, high-powered, efficient source of energy, she enlisted the help of Don. And he certainly is wired… on something. Don pumps a never-ending flow of electricity into the nation, quickly editing any imposing activity and thriftily disposing of any radioactive waste. He is centrally heating us up.
- Secretary of the Interior (Design)
Responsible for the management and conservation of rough terrain — Gayle’s website, Ada is certainly beyond the leagues of your everyday Lewis and Clark. Having trekked the frontiers of flash, html, and css, Ada brings the knowledge and talent required to artfully map uncharted territories of the website, link the islands of other Gayle websites, and develop new content to help our country grow.
- Secretary of Agriculture
This country’s production is no joke, and Issac’s first priority is food examination. Any scrumptious delight that enters the nation must be thoroughly tested for quality and taste. Along with a vast knowledge of the culinary arts, Issac regulates all of the fruits of Gayle’s labor for quality and security — no leaf unturned, no apple untouched. He also serves up a pretty mean bread pudding.
Secretary of Labor (inactive)
(Stephanie was too busy being… laborious to have time for picture-taking. So this very accurate representation will just have to do…)
Head of the Department of Labor, Stephanie is very… well, labor-intensive. Responsible for Gayle’s occupational safety, Stephanie sets the standard. Carefully scrutinizing every bit of footage, no time-code slips past her, no effort goes unpaid, providing Gayle endless insurance benefits. She’s certainly not afraid to feel the burn… of hundreds of dvds ready to be transcribed. Stephanie’s additional functions include protecting the workers from gender discrimination (its 5 girls to 3 boys but who’s counting), and making sure they all get paid in full with chocolate, fruit, nuts, cookies, matzo ball soup, and chicken salad. It’s all about work when work is in your job title.
Sadly, many of my current cabinet members are assuming inactive duty, as they have been called overseas to take on secret missions, but they will expectedly return to me… sooner or later.
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